Saturday, January 29, 2011

California events I left out.

Brooke and Jesse


Julie Vanlandingham
There are a few pics that I left out from our time in California that I really wanted to include.  The picture at the top is Brooke and Jesse Farnsworth, I don't know Jesse that well yet (getting to know him better), but Brooke and I have been friends since we were 3.  They came over, and had breakfast for dinner with us, we played Settlers of Catan and had a blast hanging out and visiting.

The last weekend our whole family went to our cabin in Shaver, sadly Barry, Helen and Bella had to go home early because they were sick, but otherwise it was a good end to our trip.  Ava saw snow for the first time, you could say she was indifferent.  :)
My friend Julie Vanlandingham also came to visit us while we were at the cabin and I had a nice visit with her.  She is getting married in April which is why I will be coming back to California for a short visit.  



Sooo... TJ is going to sell his bike.  There are many reasons that he is selling it, I like to think it's because I don't want my husband to die from a motorcycle crash (it's not him I don't trust it's he people around him), or end up in a wheel chair.  It has caused many arguments, and you could say I'm looking forward to it's departure.  We fought about that motorcycle yesterday morning, and then the whole day was just hard, but TJ is so gracious to me, and treats me so much better than I deserve.  He took the time to get the bike ready to sell last night (we've been meaning to sell it for a few months now).  We washed it, and did some things to it last night, and it is up on craig's list today.
Before we said our last goodbyes to the Honda XR650L, TJ really wanted to take Ava for a ride, so he drove her down our street and back,  I was a little reluctnant of coarse,  being her mother and all, but TJ took that much needed ride with his daughter and she seemed to enjoy it.  :)

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

God's Unfailing Love

So I just want to share something personal with you, maybe God can use it.

There has been an area of sin in my life that God has been dealing with in me.  It's not that big of a thing, well not to me anyway, or may not seem like it to you for that matter, but sin is sin, and it pains God just the same.  A little while ago, I was pretty sick throwing up all day, and I started watching this program, and there was a lot of drama and conniving in it, not glorifying to the Lord at all.  The part that became wrong about it is when TJ said he didn't approve of it, and I got sucked in, and felt like I HAD to know what happened next, obsessively, so over time I continued to watch the program, feeling like it wasn't right every time, but justifying it in my mind, thinking it really wasn't that bad.  The thing is that:  is was taking a toll on my relationship with God, I was having a hard time praying for people (which is one of my ministries in the church), having a hard time doing my devotions in the morning, it was effecting my relationship with TJ, and frankly everyone around me.  You may be thinking how could that be?  But this one little sin was overtaking me, when in the midst of it, I didn't realize how deep this was going, I completely gave in!  I watched the whole thing, because I felt like I had to!  And it was wrong.  
Last Thursday night in our Bible study we were discussing the topic of faith, and looking up different references in attempt to define what faith is.  I can't even remember what all the references were, but there was several verses that spoke to me.
Romans 14:23 "and everything that does not come from faith is sin", 'walk by faith and not by sight' 'faith comes from hearing and hearing by the word of God' Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:6 And without faith it is impossible to please God".  On Sunday Pastor Barron talked about our lives belonging to God, and our life IS ministry, anything good that comes from us is going to be from God, so we better surrender everything to HIM so that he can actually use us. 
Today I was reading Psalm 32
"Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.  Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit.  When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.  For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;  my strength was snapped as in the heat of summer.  Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity.  I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the LORD' and you forgave the guilt of my sin.  Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found;  surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him.  You are my hiding place;  you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.  I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;  I will counsel you and watch over you.  Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but much be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you.  Many are the woes of the wicked, but the LORD's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him.  Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous;  sing all you who are upright in heart!"
I cried while reading this today, it was exactly what my heart wanted to express, it was like God knew what I felt and has graciously forgiven me.  I asked TJ to forgive me the other day, but today God has overwhelmed me and brought me to my knees, where I need to be.
God is faithful even when I am not, He is so forgiving... WHY!?  I don't know, I literally don't understand.  God, thank you for your unfailing love!